French Classmates

I guess you’d have to be Steve Martin to enjoy this sorry excuse for a porn film, FRENCH CLASSMATES. Wisely anonymous filmmakers (of the NY school) rounded up a few of the Gotham locals, asked them to put on dumb French accents, and before you can say Clouseau, you have an hour of low-grade porn.Two women in matching schoolgirl outfits replete with knee socks decide to play hookey and hitchhike to Paris for some fun. All the action takes place in fields (NY state variety) or cheap interiors, with not even a stock shot of Paris to behold.Their non-adventures revolve around Bobby Astyr picking them up in his orange/copper colored Mercedes (a particularly ugly shade) and telling the gals he will make them stars.In pornoland he must first “test” them on his couch. The gals are rather homely but both have wonderful breasts. One is identified as Jenny Baxter, but the other remains nameless.They have group sex with other recognizable Gotham talent, and film climaxes with a 10-person orgy featuring (fleetingly) Eric Edwards and Paula Morton. Sharon Mitchell is identified in IMDb (and on the DVD packaging) as appearing in the orgy but I blinked and missed her entirely.Lousy music track has some annoying French pop songs plus 1976 hit “Cherchez La Femme” and other disco junk.