The Big Animal
Zygmunt, what's that by the gate?
Written by
Starring
Art Direction and Interiors
Sound
Music
Edited by
Production Manager
Director of Photography
Directed by
Sawicki, how many wives have you got?
What a fine doggie you've got!
Zygmunt, to the circus or the Camel Trophy?
Look what's coming!
A big beast.
Watch the doves!
I'd ride such in Kazakhstan. A hardworking beast.
I could buy it.
It's worth it.
Tell me how much.
Not for sale.
Come, follow me.
Move the beast away! It scares the horses!
Come, come.
Want me to shoe it, Mr. Sawicki?
Kids, keep away from it!
Spit on it!
Don't touch it!
Look how beautiful it is! Better than the circus, huh?
This is freedom, buddy.
You can stop, graze, and dump where you please.
Nobody will do you harm because you're free.
Held on a leash, that is.
Without a leash they'd sic their dogs on you. Come.
Look how beautiful it is.
Sorry, I couldn't get my act together this morning.
I used to set my watch by your arrival.
This is the first time, eh?
How beautiful it's out of town: yellow, gold, red. The smell!
One's happy to be alive!
You never spoke so beautifully.
You know how to use your noodle.
All of us know. Congratulations!
You'll make a pile, I guess.
A photo establishment, huh?
How could I cash in on it? I'm just happy to keep it.
Buyers flock around you like flies, they say.
Oh, cut the kidding, please.
Standoffish now, are you?
Climb down, sonny, will you?
Hi, Marysia.
Hi.
Marysia?
Yes?
What's this?
A muzzle.
I've borrowed it in case it bites anybody.
Oh, come on! Why?
I haven't made dinner and you've got orchestra today.
I watch it all day long, and it looks at me.
I told you not to throw apples!
Do it again and I'll tell on you in school!
You'll see!
After rehearsal.
But dinner...
Why parade around the market? Everybody gawks.
Those urchins climb the fence and throw apples.
Just look at it. How can it do any harm?
Hello Mr. Sawicki!
Good evening.
Best regards.
Hi Sawicki.
Hi.
Sorry.
We can start now. All the clarinets are in.
What happened, Mr. Sawicki?
Oh, nothing really. I've had a hard day today.
I apologize to all.
He's late because of the safari at home.
Gentlemen, concentrate. Hit it!
Take the carrot. Don't be scared.
Good camel.
Camel, on your knees! Come on, kneel down!
It can't. Make it kneel down!
Get away, mister!
Wild Africa!
Shall we go for a walk? Okay, let's go.
See how it drools?
Can you take me for a ride, sir?
Scat! Don't hang on to my fence! You hear?!
I'll only take it for an hour-long session.
On your conditions, sir.
Don't bother me, please. I can't cash in on it.
Why? Please tell me. It boggles the mind!
Just a couple of snapshots a day with the camel just standing there.
And kids would tease it.
Jump on its humps. Forget it.
It may earn you money.
Mr. Cofalik...
I'm a bank clerk. I know what money is.
Why? What would the people think? Let's go.
They will, anyway.
For me it doesn't exist. This is a serious office.
Here we work with cows, horses, dogs...
Those that start with "c": cows, calves, cats, whatever.
Why it was you who summoned me here.
'Cause you must pay the tax!
Clerks like you and I have created order,
which you can't destroy on a whim.
You must pay for something.
So maybe...
Yes?
For a horse.
A horse?
It is big enough.
But a horse is shod, whereas...
Eventually, the smallest horse tax.
You shall sign this declaration. Full name... declares to pay...
The tax on a regular basis for... Why'd you keep it?
What should I write? Go on dictating, please.
Help yourself, please.
So... I really won't cash in on it. Try to understand, please.
Besides, it would only listen to me.
Exactly. Hence we extend our offer to you.
A commercial spells a bundle.
How much?
Your man, plus camel...
Two days?
Yes.
It'll be about... $4,000.
More than my annual salary! It's immoral.
A deal, Mr. Sawicki?
What should I do?
A camel is a man's friend. It helps and works for him...
carries him across the desert and is never choosy.
What does it eat?
Meat!
No, no meat, but plants...
...dry grass.
Onion.
Onions too, carrots, twigs. And it's inured to hardships.
You know why? What's in its hump?
Milk! Water!
No, it has a kind of pantry in the hump.
With a delicious fat inside.
Now what name would you like to call it?
Pampoosh!
Okay. Let's put it down.
Pooshek!
Pooshek...
Fuzzy!
Hunchback!
Hunchback...
Next, we'll choose the best.
Repeat! The success of the Great Lottery...
...at our Town Jubilee depends on your contributions.
Each substantial donation may win you a FIAT!
The Great Jubilee of our town is only three weeks away.
We're waiting for your generous donations!
No such kiddy names. Why, it's a grand animal.
No Pampoosh or Fuzzy... But a powerful one like Ramses.
Or that... Nile.
Nile? Would rather fit a fish.
See you after the rehearsal.
The success of the Great Lottery depends on your contribution.
We're waiting for your generous donations.
Well?
Look at this...
You know what we could make?
Two overcoats at least.
Two in a year.
Keep off the flowers! You naughty camel!
Hello.
Hello, Mrs. Sawicki.
We're collecting donations for the lottery prizes.
Each above the limit can win a FIAT.
What limit? I have something.
We could shear it in a month.
Out with you!
We donate honey. Does it meet the limit?
The committee will decide.
Honey's okay. Folks donate different things.
A bike, a pedigree dog, an aquarium with fish, a parrot...
You can win a FIAT, after all.
We don't have such.
It looks so attractive.
To the backyard! Come on!
Folks just don't get it.
Too little room for this animal.
Worse still, without a checkup. May be ill with syphilis.
It takes a trick to close it!
A trick.
The Town Council has donated a FIAT, you know?
It's the main prize... They've come here too.
Did you give them honey?
I did.
They wanted to take the beast.
Did they really?
They look at it, patted it. And then slammed the gate.
Said they had many animals.
A delusion, no doubt. Who could use a camel?
Said it was an attraction.
Would you give it away?
They patted it.
You wouldn't, would you?
I really don't know. I've gotten used to it.
It could use a stable. It's wet with dew in the morning.
I wipe it dry every morning. A stable would cost a lot.
The furniture can wait.
Yes it can...
Let me show you something.
Don't make me laugh! I can't play!
See? You don't follow but walk with me.
And so we walk together...
They can do us no harm because we're together...
and want to be this way.
Marysia has taken a shine to you.
We'll go to her now. To the kids.
They're thinking up your name. Because you're ours now.
You never know whom you'll land up with. See?
See who's coming?
Why so few of them?
They may be ill or something.
I want it to be called Nice Fur.
I don't know... could be. We're waiting at home!
Come back right this minute!
Hello, Mr. Filus!
Turn them straight.
It walks as if it were asking for it.
So you are a breeder...
You've got livestock.
That's right.
You don't pay the tax.
But I do!
How so?
As if for a horse.
Which it isn't.
That's true.
So you see, don't you?
Besides, it befouls the streets when you take it out for a walk.
It distracts the kids and they come late to school.
It creates unwanted sensation.
I can't read this...
First and foremost... it's no use to the community.
and as such... I can't read it.
It's useless and unnecessary.
And it may carry the germs of African strains of VD.
What? We are scared? Demand law and order...?
Indignant residents?!
That doesn't apply!
This is the voice of the public, you see.
We must do something about it, right?
So you must do something.
I wonder what?
To donate it to an institution so that it can work?
We really don't know...
I don't see the point, but it must be here, no?
We all share this view.
What if everyone wanted to have a camel?
How would it look?
But nobody wants it but me.
The point? Why, I alone want to keep it!
Who can stop me? Who can forbid me to keep it!
Who can?
Hey, stop tormenting him! Stop this sideshow at once!
Shame on you, Cofalik!
This kind of arch... and such windows.
Only two. In the door, huh?
I wish the kids had brought you more ideas.
I'd have more choice now.
So they start tomorrow...
I'll suggest the arch and windows. So it will feel at home.
How come you know his home is in Arabia?
I played him some Arabic tunes today.
And its jaws worked differently.
It sounded higher just as if... it felt home...
I wish it didn't bode ill.
Boss, we have the materials, so let's unload them fast.
Very good.
Where do you want it?
Over there!
Got the design?
Yes. Let's see the site.
It's cold. That son of a gun is too.
I don't like it.
Why?
Will you make these embellishments?
It's up to your liking, boss.
They don't know what to do with their dough.
Wants a mosque built.
Conspicuous consumption.
Shall we try it on?
In the dark?
By the light from the kitchen.
Good.
It seems to fit, no?
Wait a minute... Perfectly.
What if I border it with green? Will it suit?
Absolutely.
Let's see you in the light. Come. Stop...
Well, you look very smart.
Hold it, hold it! A clarinet is off-tune. Who?
Let's start with A.
A clarinet's off-tune again... playing different notes.
What is it, Zygmunt?
Concentrate, please. Let's start with B.
Go, stretch your legs.
I'm home!
Look at the mail.
The Nature Protection League summons me to come in person.
The County Veterinarian... Compulsory vaccination of horses.
Otherwise I will have to pay a fine...
A reminder from the library.
Some books I've borrowed are four years overdue.
Have I really?
The County Council.
I had to sign it.
"You are expected to attend the seating of the Council.
Your presence is obligatory."
And I'll be to blame when he falls off!
Out with you. Quick!
Come, he doesn't like us. Selfish folks!
He doesn't want the kid to have some fun.
Come... come.
...Hear us, O Lord.
From all evil.
Deliver us, O Lord.
From every sin.
Deliver us, O Lord.
From Your anger...
Deliver us, O Lord.
From the unexpected death...
Deliver us, O Lord.
From the trap of the devil...
Deliver us, O Lord.
From anger, hatred, and ill will...
Deliver us, O Lord.
Don't drink! It's too cold. It may be poisoned!
Come! Come! Why so naughty today?
OUT!
Could you say it cheerfully with a smile?
Okay. Have a go at it.
The caravan walks on because it drinks FRUCTOVIT!
No... I was supposed to drink it first... All right.
The caravan walks on because it drinks FRUCTOVIT.
Oh, I missed the break...
The caravan walks on because it drinks... FRUCTOVIT.
Stop! Didn't I say, "Cheerfully, with a smile and lively?"
Relish the drink!
How can I? It's bland!
Good. Once more with feeling and a smile.
Fructovit. Take 18.
Action!
The caravan walks on...
Cheerfully, f* * * you!
Enough already, whippersnapper!
You won't f* * * me for money! Out with you. And that's that!
It's a breach of contract! You won't see a single penny!
Screw your contacts! You won't humiliate us!
Take an actor to relish your drink for money...
and to cheer up at your beck and call.
That's amateurs for you.
Enough! They won't have us to clown on camera!
And the last item on our agenda tonight.
Bear with me, please. Is Mr. Sawicki present?
Good evening.
Your attitude, dear colleague, fails to impress us.
You know what I mean?
Yes, the camel.
Exactly.
We've invited you to this meeting.
And I want you to see how much effort we've put up
to help you feel useful.
Who of you would like to take the floor?
The headmaster of our gymnasium, please.
As you know, our school...
...has been collecting biological specimens...
If the photographer could use your camel...
Mr. Sawicki's put up an outhouse without a permit...
...to be used as a stable for a culturally foreign element.
The Health Department is opposed to such breeding...
...it will upgrade the attraction potential of our region.
If the school could get...
I'll make a statement on behalf of the Department...
A catchy slogan like "Weekend with a camel."
We can demand the outhouse be torn down...
When it dies, its skeleton...
How about an initiative of founding a zoo?
I'm all for it.
We could call it MINI ZOO. Sounds nice, no?
A catchy slogan. Isn't it, Mr. Sawicki?
Mr. Sawicki! Mini Zoo! Mini Zoo! Mr. Sawicki!
The parents have taken the children away.
After the Name the Camel competition.
What do they want?
I don't know.
The parents don't want their kids to come here.
Want me in the kitchen?
What do we do, then?
I don't know.
I was supposed to sew two more rabbits for the show.
Should I quit?
We won't manage.
Go, I'll comb it.
Will you?
Okay. I'll play then.
Why, it was correct.
You play and it stopped working its jaws!
It doesn't sing now!
You don't say!
See? It doesn't.
I'll change the tune.
What's the matter?
It's still warm.
They've left this.
Over there!
I can't.
Go home. They may rob us.
Have you seen my camel?
You crazy man... you.
Mr. Stefaniak!
Did anyone pass you by with a camel a moment ago?
No, only with giraffes.
So it's lost.
Whose camel was it?
Mine.
Yours?
My wife's and mine.
I've got conflicting reports here. Different versions each...
It's not so easy to have a camel.
Can we...?
Where did you get it?
From the circus.
Why you and not me...?
Please help me. It's very important to me and my wife.
Cool it... All in order.
The day after tomorrow. Have you gotten our summons?
Please, sir!
On the 8th of this month, one Sawicki...
Zygmunt.
Your address?
8B Traugutta Street.
Oh, Sawicki...
Aren't ours enough for you? Normal, human animals?
...reported the loss of a camel.
You suspect someone?
No.
We have more important matters.
Here?
Uh-huh.
We'll notify other precincts.
You know what I think? It's good you've lost it.
Good for everybody. Why did you keep it?
What for?
Now to round up our jubilee, the main prize-a FIAT!
The Fire Brigade Commander,
the sponsor of the lottery, will hand the car keys to the winner.
I still keep all the negatives. You'll have a souvenir.
A snapshot please.
Mr. Cofalik! ...Forget it.
I can't say how sorry...
Dear Mr. Zygmunt...
Excuse me.
Let bygones be bygones. We have an option for you.
We decided to offer you... with your flights of fantasy,
you could work in the Town Hall...
as an expert and advisor... Hi! Hi!
...you'd help us in the electoral lobby in the bank.
To our mutual advantage. How's that?
But I'm planning to quit.
You have visitors, sir.
Stop this nonsense. You wish to end up in the circus?
A big hand, please!
Come to the lottery now! Special thanks to the firemen!
Just between you and me, I nixed that horse tax.
That's what I wanted to tell you.
That Council seating was not serious.
It's the Chairman... Luckily, we have an election.
Excuse me.
Wild Africa!
I meant business.
Mr. Zygmunt, come here to taste the wieners!
The only man with guts!
Mr. Sawicki! Best regards. I wish you were with us now.
I think you jumped the gun. Let bygones be bygones.
We play really nice pieces. You're irreplaceable.
Why don't you join us? I apologize.
We invite you to a dance now!
Somebody's come in?
You awake?
Yes.
It's winter. See buddy? The leaves have fallen.
No nibbling trees. You'd love a carrot, eh?
A bread roll would be great now, eh? But it's over and gone.
Two return tickets to Warsaw.
Second class.
Fifteen dollars.
Thank you.
Express train to Warsaw is pulling into Platform One.
Cast of characters